Secrets of Healthy Relationships: Love

We do this because God is patient with us.  He patiently forgives us again and again.  If the God who

We all yearn for true love that lasts a lifetime.  We were made to love and be loved.  But what does that kind of love look like and how can we make it happen in our lives.

What Love Looks Like

Love is a word that we use so many ways and if we're going to really understand how to love somebody we have to start with understanding what it is.

  • Love is more than a feeling. It affects our feelings, powerfully, but it's more than just a feeling.
  • Love is controllable. We've all heard people say, "I fell in love."  Like you're walking down the street one day, trip, fell in love, and couldn't help it.  The Bible says that Love is controllable.  Jesus commanded that we love each other.  You and I have control over whom we love and who we don't love.  We get to choose.  I have control over when I love and when I don't love.  I get to choose.

  • What God Says About Love

    This leads us to a couple of things that God says about love.

  • God says that Love is a choice. I choose to put it on.  There's an action that I take that makes it work in my life.  If it were a feeling, or just an accident, then God couldn't command it.  But He can command an action in our lives.
  • Love is a matter of conduct. In I John 3:18 we read, "Let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and truth."  Actions -- that's what love is really all about.  It's how I act towards another person.  You can talk until you're blue in the face but your heart will always be read in your actions.

  • Love in Action

    How does love act?  Who gets to tell us how it's supposed to act?"  The answers are simple.  The God who is love and who created us to love tells us how love acts.  In I Corinthians 13 God tells us that love is kind, patient, isn't jealous, doesn't brag, is not arrogant, doesn't act unbecomingly and is not provoked.

    “Love is patient.”   This tells us that love is not hurried.  Love takes its time.  The bible tells us to be patient with each other as we make allowance for other's faults love.  Patience means we take the time to wait for someone else to change.  We wait for somebody to recover.

    made the universe can take time to wait for us, then we can learn from Him to take time to wait for one another, to make allowances for each other's faults.

    "Love is kind."  Kindness means the ability to care for each other in the practical details of everyday life.  This means that we have to adapt to meet the practical needs of another person.  It wouldn't be so hard if I didn't have to change, to adapt, to give up some of my time -- but that's what it means.

    Ephesians 4:32 tells us "Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God has forgiven you."  If we are going to be kind to another person we have to have a tender heart towards them, "forgiving them, just as God has forgiven us.

    "Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud."  Envy, boasting, and pride are trains of insecure people.  If any of us suffer from these flaws, we need to know and accept that no matter what happens, God loves us.  We have our security with Him.

    This is what true love is all about.  It is a love grounded in God.  It is a controllable choice that is reflected in our actions and powered by the Holy Spirit.


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